She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
