Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
