I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
