And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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