i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
