Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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