Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
