your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
