I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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