The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
