I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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