I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
