I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
