My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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