wrigley field is MILF paradise
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize