i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
