Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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