I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
