okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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