if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
