Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
