is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
