he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
