I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
