I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize