atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
