I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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