But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
