You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
