Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
