the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
