I hate all girls vehemently.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
