Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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