I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
