I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
There's even glitter on my cock...
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