Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the condom got lost in my hair
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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