Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
