i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
