im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize