ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
