Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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