Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
