But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
