We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
