I skipped work to stalk him.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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