So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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