Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Drake has all the answers
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
