It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
