Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
