apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
