it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
