i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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