I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
