have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
