I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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