i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so let's talk penis.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
