Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
