and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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