i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
