My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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