i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
