I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
