call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
