I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My dick has a subreddit
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
