Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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