Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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