So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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